Carolyn’s Confidence Corner :)
Welcome to my Confidence Corner! I decided I wanted to offer tips for girls (young’n’not so young!) that I’ve learnt along the way in life that have helped me with so many aspects, yet all aided in me being a much more confident gal.
There are many tips I wish to offer, so will be many blogs. I hope something resonates with you – or … you see some advice here a friend or family member could use.
We are in a challenging time. Perhaps it’s always been this way – different challenges for different generations. However we at Bring It totally understand there is a lot to work through as a girl (as anyone really) in this day and age.
I hear so many heartbreaking stories of people suffering from anxiety (been there), panic attacks, depression, lack of confidence and self-esteem; the list goes on, that I wanted to offer what I could – from what I’ve learnt.
Going from a wet noodle who was way too scared to put on events to help others – to someone with the “what the heck” attitude (you find when you are doing something with others’ benefit in mind that your courage takes over!), I felt it time to offer what I can here.
I truly believe by talking, sharing, inspiring…..together – we create more of a community feel as well as empathy. The more we work with each other, the more we find we are very similar in our challenges, insecurities and even what inspires us. As a group of women trying to help in our own way, what we have found over the years is that when we have insecurities (and we have them!) we feel perhaps it’s just us. But, it always surprises us when we voice them to someone else, that we find we really aren’t alone! I think it’s time to really start working together more instead of feeling alone. There seems to be much anxiety out there – can you imagine how helpful it would be if you had this incredible Tribe around you who understood you, supported you, was POSITIVE and objective? Let’s go….we can get there.
So I’ve put a few tips together – to be offered over many blogs; and remember, any change begins with baby steps. Nothing happens overnight; remember that. I’ve been where you are in some respect. Might have been a long time ago now – but our insecurities are all very similar with each generation; perhaps just with more modern twists on them.
As a woman: THIS was why it was so important to me to create Bring It and why I believe so many amazing women jumped on board to help too: they have been there in one way or another and we all want to help young girls “get it” sooner with tools of support – rather than find the tools as you age. So…let’s work together and make this happen.
Today’s 4 tips:
- STOP COMPARING:
– you do get that most people put on social media the “amazing” parts of their life right? That others’ lives tend to look incredibly perfect? Um. No. What people young and old put out there tends to be the good stuff about their lives….so stop comparing yourself to them. If all you do is see perfect in others and feel you are lacking…it can put you on a downward spiral. So….read with interest…but don’t compare….
UNDERSTAND this: you don’t need to compare your life to others’. They may look like they have it altogether, but I’ll tell you now no-one’s life is that perfect. We have insecurities, challenges, just crap days….what I’ve learnt as I’ve aged is that even THE most successful of Executives admit to the fact that they have awful days sometimes where they are totally lacking in confidence. So…the only person you need to compare yourself to is YOU. Make each day better than the previous (or try) and try to drown out what you see on social media that makes you feel lacking.
You are enough, did you know?
- START COLLABORATING:
– I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: work WITH each other; not against each other. It’s creating such separation and anxiety! You don’t need to get to mid-life to finally understand this is so important (and you will!); begin now. As women we feel empowered, inspired…the list goes on – when we work together, talk together, help each other. So…learn this young rather than get this when you’re older. Your friendships will be all the richer for it.
UNDERSTAND THIS: We all (as women) learn this and it’s exciting, inspiring, liberating. It’s SUCH an incredible feeling and working together can yield such incredible results. So….start now. Work together girls! You all benefit from this.
You are enough, did you know?
- BE MORE SUPPORTIVE, BE INCLUSIVE:
– Holy cow. Sort of ties in with the above tip. It’s time. One of the BIG reasons (my belief here) there are so many girls lacking in confidence is because they feel alone and judged (we’ll get to judgement in another post!). Support each other! Make positive comments, include people you typically wouldn’t in things you are doing. Let’s stop creating divides – just look at what that’s doing to the US. Why not create such an inclusive, friendly, supportive environment where everyone benefits; do you know how better you’d all feel?
When you include, support and help others, you feel happier within yourself. It also creates an environment where no-one feels left out or judged…..and in turn everyone’s confidence increases. What’s not to love?
You are enough, did you know?
- THINK OF OTHERS AS IF YOU WERE IN THEIR SHOES:
– nothing more really needed to be said here. We as humans right now need so much more empathy in the world. Why not show the rest of humankind how we girls do it? Always always…did I say ALWAYS: put yourself in others’ shoes: putting something out on social media? Would YOU want this said about you? Feel like leaving someone out of something or commenting on how they look; would YOU feel okay if this was directed at you? C’mon…let’s start looking at others’ as if they were us.
Empathy: the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within the other person’s frame of reference (wikipedia). Put yourself in others’ shoes and understand the importance of empathy. If we can care more, we win!
AGAIN: You are enough, did you know?
There are also a LOT of organizations out there to help – Mind Your Mind for instance (https://mndyourmind.ca). Let’s build an incredible team of London girls who are brimming with confidence and have others’ feelings at heart….we can do this…..baby steps.
Blog authored by Carolyn Martyn, Founder of Bring It and passionate cheerleader of others.
For more information on what she does, visit: shinewithcarolyn.com – she’s out to help the world sparkle in her own way!
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