Celebrating YOU on International Womens’ Day
What does this mean? We can tell others to “be confident” but can you truly instill this in someone? I do believe some have confidence, others need it (as I did many a time) but you CAN gain it.
Fake it til you make it as they say. You are truly what you believe, what you think. And…if you can wake up every day telling yourself you are confident, you have value and your voice should be heard….even if you don’t completely believe it yet, you WILL grow to believe it. I’m living proof.
Did you know? Of the hundreds if not thousands of women I’ve spoken to and worked with during my years as a trainer, health coach and organizer of Bring IT, I’ve come to understand that so many of us have days where we don’t feel confident. The MOST successful woman – will have days where she just doesn’t feel she “has it” on some days
I especially hope those who feel they don’t have much confidence read that paragraph again. Why? Because other girls and women feel JUST LIKE YOU. The only difference is: some don’t show it outwardly and you’d never know it. Would it surprise you to know that I’ve spoken with top executives who I have admired for years (and still do) and just assumed they had all their “stuff” together, only to find when we talk one on one….that it’s completely the opposite? They lack confidence in their worth; in their body, in their looks…whatever it is.
But this gives me hope! Sure, I’m one to find the silver lining (or pink sparkly one!) in EVERYthing….but it gives me hope since it means all women are real. We all have struggles, we all have “those” days and with support from our friends and loved ones; with resilience and sometime throw on a tad of false bravado…we get through it!
I’m such a believer in conversation. When we share with each other, kick ego to the curb and REALLY share, we help each other, inspire each other and learn from each other. The times I’ve had a client leave one of our Women Who Bring It events stating: “I thought that was just me!”). Well it’s not. We are all so similar and you don’t have to feel alone if you are lacking in confidence.
There is NOTHING wrong in lacking confidence. What I hope you do though is get hope from the knowledge that you are not alone and that by TRYING every day; to think positively, to smile, to think incredible thoughts about you; to help others (do you even know the benefits of helping others on your own mental health? Off the chart!!)…you truly can: BE CONFIDENT.
So what does “being Bold” mean? This can mean different things for different peeps. Do you know girls or women who dress “just as they wish” and don’t care what others say? Do you know others who state their opinions respectfully and again, have no worries about doing so? Or what about the friend who just “goes for it” every time? How do they do it?
Well, my thoughts from both experience and researching/ reading up on these are partly this: Some people are fearful of doing things for fear of failure, or afraid of being judged, looking bad, having someone say something negative. I was this way for years. These to me are “ego-driven” fears.
Once you can take the emotion and ego out of things you are well on your way to being able to be BOLD. If you can say “what the heck” to fear and go for it anyway, you are on your way. If you can say “who cares” to opinions from others (I know…this one’s tough; but again, it IS doable) you again, are on your way. Take it from me: the queen of not wanting people to be upset with me as a young woman (actually, heck in my 30’s too!) or have a negative thing to say about me. It scared me blindly! But…when I was able to understand that not everyone in this world is going to like you – NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO – it makes it a helluva lot easier to be BOLD.
So….if something means enough to you, if you are passionate about something – you can and will find a way to do it. The first time might be tough. Being bold can be a challenge; but it’s like any muscle you work: the more you work it the stronger it gets. The MORE you try to embolden yourself the more you become bold.
You, once more, are not alone in being unable to put your BOLD self forward. But I say it again…if you knew the women and girls out there who felt the same as you (you just don’t know this about them), it would help you feel a bit braver.
No matter where we are in life we ALL have days we lack the ability to be bold in our convictions. The important is trying. Don’t give up on your voice. Don’t give up on what you believe in. You have a voice…use it. And surround yourself with cheerleaders who will help you find that bold too.
These are all so connected: be confident, be bold, be you. “Be You” holds a special place in my heart since so often we change what and who we are for external reasons. There’s so much pressure from the outside world to be “perfect”. To be a certain shape, size. To have more money; more this, more that.
It’s easy to lose who you are. For instance, I LOVE people. I love inspiring and it’s very important to be REAL. I can’t conform to some serious situations where this is taken away from me. You either love me or like me the way I am with my big heart, big smile and tendency to write reeeeeally long emails…. or you don’t. I can’t change my ways (and will not) for anyone. It’s too important to me that others can relate to me; feel comfortable around me and find hope. If this is not a good fit with some people, I’ve learnt to be SO OKAY with that.
When I was a girl I felt the pressure sometimes to change “me”. But if I could give any young girl, young woman; heck any woman at all – it is to STAY YOU no matter what. Don’t change who you are, what you are, what your values are, what you believe in – for ANYONE. At all.
So on this day: International Womens’s Day, I put a call to action forth to you all:
From this moment forward be:
Be Confident: walk tall, understand what you have to offer the world as much as anyone else. Wake up every day and tell yourself 5 things you LOVE about YOU.
Be Bold: Be forthcoming with what you believe in. Offer your insight in conversations, ask questions in school (you will find you are helping someone else who didn’t have the courage to ask…). Don’t back down from going for what you want and know “you’ve got this”.
Be YOU: What can I say? Don’t change for a boy, a girl, a friend, to “fit in”. Don’t lose weight for the pressure, or stop eating for the same. Don’t ignore another or leave someone out because a “group” say you should. Conform to positive – never negative!
Be a positive light in this world. You are incredible, inspirational, resourceful. You may have your struggles (I’ll let you in on a secret; life is FULL of struggles….but you become a better person as a result). You have every right to go for the moon and nothng less. Be respectful, be kind and be grateful.
And be the kind of “YOU” who gives a helping hand to others who struggle.
Can’t wait to see all that you do this year everyone. Let’s make our corner of the world truly SHINE.
Founder, Bring It Impact Events
Motivationa Speaker, Health and Confidence Coach